Resource to help those who are grieving

A trusted and admired friend of mine has endured, through the grace of Christ, the grief of losing a child. Many people in our church family are now grieving with those at Highview who have lost a close loved one. We have faith that God is good, death is a result of the curse of sin, and that Jesus is the great overcomer of sin, sickness, and death. In Him, we have eternal hope.

My friend sent me a few points that will help us help those who are grieving the passing of a loved one:

1. Everyone grieves differently and needs to be given liberty to do so.
2. People think that their friends do not want to talk about their lost loved one. Many times they actually do.
3. Give them space, offer your help but give them space.
4. Send them notes.
5. One of our great fears is that people will forget our lost loved ones so try to find ways to let them know they are not forgotten.
6. Realize that everything will not be measured by the day they died. You relate all time to that time.
7. They will go through what I call the tyranny of the first. For example:
The first Sunday since they died, the first day of a new month, the first time they go to a grocery store, the first time they go to a place the child had been, the first birthday, the first holiday…etc. It will last for at least a year normally but could be longer.
8. Write them around the time of the child’s birthday, death day, and holidays.

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